2014 and where it got us: The biggest events of the past 12 months


THE BIGGEST NEWS EVENT OF THE YEAR
2014 was a year filled with useless division, angry rhetoric, and faceless villians. Ferguson’s anger boiled over into other cities.. The death of the ‘gentle giant’ in the city may be a blip in history, or perhaps a bigger event that marked a change in race relations in the United States. But there’s something bigger of a story, it’s not Ferguson or the New York City protests or cop killings, it’s this: Media conglomerates and others ‘in the know’ were doing their best to keep the United States divided as much as possible throughout the entire year. With every single passing event, CNN and others snooze networks went wall to wall with 20th century relics talking about 20th century racial divisions. That’s not to say that the 21st century doesn’t have problems, but they are not the same as the previous. The insult on the American people is being force fed the same diatribe of hate from those who claim to want peace and love.
There is a real division in the United States. The 1% are completely isolated and divided from the rest of us. And all of us, the 99%, are in the same boat together. Now if only the media would report that, we’d come together in unification like never before..
Person of the year
TIME magazine chose ‘Ebola doctors’ as their safe choice. I highly disagree.. While the doctors who perform their functions are brave and amazing to go to West Africa to fight the deadly disease, EBOLA was not the biggest news event of the year..
TIME magazine picked Adolf Hitler and other creepy characters in the past for their ‘person’ of the most importance. They decide not by the best of the year, but the man or woman who most changed history.
In that same context, it’s without a doubt that Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has most changed the course of modern history in 2014.. he’s the leader of ISIS–the group that murdered in wreckless regard for human rights throughout the entire year. At one time, he was so quiet you could hardly hear his voice. But not with a murderous zeal for power and an unholy alliance with the dark lords of hell, the gates of wrath have opened on earth and this man, more than anyone, changed events throughout the previous 12 months of our fragile existence.
Worst candidate for person of the year
Leave it to Bieber. He sort of kind of makes this list every year..

 

Movie of the year
The INTERVIEW was never released.. but somehow, someway, it became the biggest film of the entire year. We were told that hackers from a group called THE GUARIDIANS OF PEACE stole a whole bunch of SONY inside information.. and then rumors began to circulate on the interwebs that the group was connected to North Korea. After the GOP found out people thought they were performing state sponsored cyber terrorism, they began to do just that, and threatened SONY with a 9/11 style attack on movie theaters if the film THE INTERVIEW got released.. The one problem: Few security experts–the real ones, not the fake talking head versions on the nightly news–don’t think SONY was hacked by North Korea at all! Some even went on to believe that was the biggest publicity stunt to avert eyes from the hateful messages between SONY executives ever pulled. Either way, SONY lost. Their movie was pulled by theaters and decided to end the ad campaign..
Perhaps the other side of this odd coin is this: Most of the people who actually saw the movie said it was the least funny and dumbest movie ever made. Perhaps SONY is counting their blessing.. the real bomb in the theater would have been completely cinematic were this film to have been given to the public for consumption on Christmas day..

 


Biggest downfall of 2014
Bill Cosby had his place in pop culture history as the ‘dad’ of America.. he sold us puddin pops in the 80s and he became a monument to good television and upstanding role models.
But that was all TEE VEE..
The real Bill Cosby never stood up, but his accusers did in 2014. Woman after woman, day after day, Bill Cosby was hit with accusations of rape and other strange things.. journalists reported that that they had weird moments of tension with the comedian. Some say he liked feet .. his puddin pop was jiggling for decades, and somehow it took a Philadelphia comedian’s angry rant on stage to get the public to listen up..


Meme of the year
Sticking on the Bill Cosby theme, it’s amazing to think of his downfall being self-motivated. In the fall of ’14, Cosby tweeted a request to his followers to ‘meme’ him. Instead their maimed him with complete satisfcation.. The Twitter campaign backfired. And now, in his aging years of gray hair and slower paced walking Bill Cosby is running like hell away from allegations of what he did during his prime ..


The coolest science of 2014
The world was able to look at space with renewed interest this year.. the Mars photos keep streaming and countless websites are searching the rocky formations for any sign of mirages, like squirrels or Obama heads. But the best science hands down was the ability for earthlings to successfully land a probe onto a comet.. the Philae lander accomplished much of its mission.. but darkness krept in and we lost transmission. MAYBE the summer of 2015 will change that, though.. that’s when Philae may be able to get more sunlight onto its solar panels and begin streaming live back to the earth once more..


Worst science of 2014
Ebola was the big health story this year.. but the bigger blunder few recall happened in June, when a labratory made mistakes that exposed 75 US researchers to anthrax. Then in July, more bonehead mistakes almost got bad for the human race when it was discovered that the NIH misplaced 16 vials of smallpox. They were found in a storage closet.. Seriously people?? Eradicated in 1980. Found in a closet in 2014..


Weirdest new face of the year
My, what a new face you have.. It’s sort of gossipy and ridiculous to even worry about the plastic surgeon victims in Hollywood, but I always enjoyed Renee Zellweger’s normal face when compared to the rest of the frauds around her in Tinseltown. I cannot say that anymore.. Renee has done something monumentally destructive to what once a normal and attractive mask.. But this is Hollywood, baby, where the real get unreal and the unreal get deals.. Scripts need to be written and new faces need to be applied. Out with the old! Renee has gone bold.. No more lips.. Just eyes that drip.. Droop.. Sloop.. Oh shoot..


The year of the clown
This year, you could not escape the blank stare of clowns around the world. The death face was abounding, no matter where you looked. On television, the biggest horror show of the year was AMERICAN HORROR STORY (though some WALKING DEAD fans may disagree) .. and in real life, there were armed clowns, there were sinister clowns, there wereclowns behaving badly, there were creepy clowns walking through the streets, there was Wasco the clown, and there were promises that the movie IT with Pennywise the Dancing Clown was going to be remade into a cinematic release.
Clowns abound.
But who’s the fool. I want to pity them..


The paranormal year
For better or for worse, media reports were continuous throughout 2014: Exorcisms, ghosts, black eyed children.. all being reported on front pages like the paranormal world had suddenly become accepted–or just money makers for newspapers desperate to hold onto readers. There were bizarre exorcisms in front of STARBUCKS, ghosts in restaurants. Cops were in on the action as well.. There was a Satanic black mass in Oklahoma and mainstream reports about Jinn making headlines. Even Megan Fox believes..


Creepiest photo of the year
The devil’s in the details. And maybe in the clouds.. This image was shot at a UK rock festival.. There was a heavy thunderstorm and this face-like feature ensued in the clouds. Of course the instant rejection occurred as readers said the image was Photoshopped, but judging from the comment thread on the article, the image was real, as some testify. They say they were there, and saw the devil emerge from the thunderstorm above.. Regardless of its authenticity, the image is creepy..


Scariest radio of the year
Yes, I said RADIO..Perhaps one of the scariest Clyde Lewis programs *and radio shows in general* took place this year.. Lewis took GROUND ZERO deep into the paranormal with a show about why we fear clowns (the theme of ’14 in general it seemed). But things got a bit weirder.. during the program, Lewis also had a live online broadcast of a clown streaming online. Like many others, I was watching. . A camera was fixated on a lone clown doll locked in a room in the radio studio. And yes.. the clown did move. Certainly worth the listen on Soundcloud if you have the time..


The dumbest idea (that made money) in 2014
The selfie stick. People who want to get the perfect self image are going wild for the Selfie Stick. It can clip to certain phones.. it extends far out to get the perfect snapshot.
And it’s the dumbest looking thing I have ever seen.
Say cheese..


Best Megan Fox of the year
There was one Megan Fox who starred in TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURLES and partially showcased her breasts whereever she traveled.. And then there was the other Megan Fox, who suddenly turned into a star. She became famous on YOUTUBE. She became the talk of the internet.. she was made famous online for walking through a museum being critical of evolution and other stories of science.. Her creationist beliefs caused a stir, and many laughs. She is InternetFamous. And she shares her name with another FOX, one that this Fox would most likely believe is devilish..


Creepiest presidential moment of the year
Okay.. You’ve all probably had enough of this Obama hologram theory.. But take a look at the opening 5 seconds .. The unedited footage shows the President literally appearing out of thin air.. Very bizarre .


Dog of the year
Mutley the Dog, without a doubt. A full year with the family. He came. He wrecked.. and he’s tamer than before but still as fun. Except at 3am when he wakes me up with his nose to go outside .. I wish he’d hold it in.

 

NEXT: LOGOS OF 2014

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