TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE MIDNIGHT (An abridged version)

*WITH EDITS FROM THE FINE FOLKS AT BELLGAB

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE MIDNIGHT
And all through the ‘Coast,’
U7 was busy
Playing all past Ghost to Ghosts

Bell fans were nestled all snug with earbuds
While tales of Mel’s hole replaced Noory’s old sludge
And Hoagland with glass Moons and Area 51,
Nostalgia was strong, Bell was missed a ton.

When out from my radio there arose such a clatter
I sprung from my smartphone to see what was the matter
Away to the shortwave I flew like a flash
And heard and old friend’s voice as the thunder .wav clashed.

The Chase was the sound under the midnight moon’s glare
Crystal Gayle’s song set the moon with care
when what to my schtrange eyes should appear
But a Premiere Executive And George’s famed snear

With Tommy so sluggish, not lively or quick
Tried to best to stay with Art’s schtick
More rapid their heartbeats as July 20th came
The product they feature is often quite lame

“Now Tommy! Now Lisa!
Now cue cards and Guests hosts
Like Garr and Willis
Advertise dating!
You’re not alone
But Art’s back
Coast is for Drones

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof
Julie Talbott figure out that they’ve given us goofs
As I turned off the old show my head was turning around
I saw Noory’s stache falling with a frown

The Kingdom of Nye was steamrolling back
Art Bell’s old bumpers were found on the stack
The Desert is alive with the noise of the night
Shadow people and aliens, Time Travel and Flight.

Midnight has come, and it’s been so long
Sirius was ok, but Chunga was wrong.
No matter all that, the Desert’s Alive
Dick Hoagland’s prepped to take us till 5

Art Bell is back, with a thunderous roar
The Night is Alive.
Goodbye to the bores.