A news story making its way around the AP news wire and local stations and papers shows a class of 2014, not wearing watches and not using email anymore.. in its place: Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and all different types of social networking that the class of 1992 would never have dreamed of..

But class of 2014, don't you know why you have your computers..? Why you socially network on your phone as opposed to real networking? .. it was the class of 1992 that grew up during those late great 1990s and paved the way to the information superhighway of the 21st century.

It was Tom Hanks that "Got Mail" in the 1990s.. it was your parents and uncles and aunts that have Angelfire.com websites, with blinking banners and 15 popups per click.. It was "Slambook" and others that began social networking.

Back in those antiquated days of early internet, there was something called guestbooks that visitors of websites would sign and say how much they enjoyed what they read. Now people's attention spans are even less than knats, quickly clicking on websites, staying on for about .5 seconds, and clicking off once that boredom sets in..

And speaking of boredom, the class of 1992 got bored in an hour. The class of 2014 is bored within seconds. The moment Twitter goes down, a crisis ensues.. If Tumblr is without power, Twitter gets busy.. If Facebook goes down, which rarely happens, a riot may break out..

Boredom for the masses, those asses.

So now college is ready to start again..

..and the class of '14 doesn't know Clint Eastwood was an actor, doesn't know anything about Nirvana, and hardly realizes that the A TEAM was a remake of a odd 1980s show with Mr. T, who now is very busy doing round the clock infomercials for the Flavor Wave.

When I graduated before the turn of the century in 1999, I was culturally aware of that modern time of Clinton sex and pre-9/11 peacetime. But additionally, I was aware of the past, and how it paved the way for my then - present times..

Does the class of 2014, so wrapped up within themselves, so taken over by their own false ego of pride, not have a concern over why they are here ? .. Even the class of 1999 knew what I LOVE LUCY was and knew why Richard Nixon resigned. Being niave to history isn't a reason to celebrate. Being unaware of knowledge certainly is not an enviable position..

And besides, when Twitter goes down and Facebook stops working, what will you do with your boredom? .. Plant a garden? Read a book..? Kids may not know how.

Come to think of it, with the rash of modern technology warping the 25-40 crowd as well, I don't either.

BRYAN SMOLOCK HORROR REPORT WEDNESDAY 8:34 PM 8/18/2010